Essay > Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties but soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- to relax, I told myself. Inevitably though, one thought led to another. Thinking became more and more important to me and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew thinking and employment didn't  mix well but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could peruse Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "Exactly, what is it that we are doing here?"

Things weren't great at home either. One evening, after turning off the TV, I asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

Soon I had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after that conversation. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It IS that serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as a college professor, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled and stomped out the door.

I was really in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR radio playing in the background. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors but... they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.

FRIEND, IS HEAVY THINKING RUINING YOUR LIFE? it asked. You may recognize it. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting, we watch a non-educational video. Last week it was "Porky's." Then we share our experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Somehow, life just seems a lot easier since I stopped thinking.

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This is not an original piece. I cannot take credit for it. I wish I could. And I can't give credit because I don't know who wrote it. I wish I did.