Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts

Sunday, June 07, 2020

GEORGE FLOYD'S PLACE IN HISTORY

George Floyd was murdered before our eyes. For over eight minutes he begged for his life but no matter. Mr. Floyd had the life squeezed out of him by a policeman who pressed his knee across Mr. Floyd's neck, choking the breath out of him. 

Colored peoples have historically been & continue to suffer from racism that is deeply ingrained in our history. But change must come to America for it to live up to its ideals. Maybe, just maybe, we will now make real strides towards those ideals. 

Once upon a time, fire fighters & EMS workers were routinely called "heroes". But with the pandemic upon us, the "hero" ranks have swelled to include doctors & nurses, cleaning staff, grocery store clerks, care givers, truck drivers, warehouse & food factory workers. And deservedly so. 

But is George Floyd a "hero"? Was he a good person? Is that important? Would it make a difference if he wasn't really?

Do you want to know him better? I do. But, short of a speech from attorney Crump, the family lawyer, an emotional eulogy delivered by the Reverend Al Sharpton & short statements by a few family members, we don't know much about him.  I don't even know the actual events surrounding Mr. Floyd's arrest.  But would that change the narrative?

Into this void, stepped black conservative commentator Candace Owens who vlogged a rant about Mr. Floyd's past. @Kevin Rose (NYT Tech  Columnist) tweeted that Ms. Owen's "video is at 58,000,000 views & is now the 'top-performing' Facebook post of the past week. It was also featured in a Daily Wire article [...] for another 300,000 views." (I can't verify these  numbers.)

I've watched Ms. Owen's vlog. I'm deeply troubled by her vlog. While everyone should enjoy Freedom of Speech, what troubles me is that her narrative has gained so much traction when, in reality, it doesn't make any difference who Mr. George was. It's a red herring.

The real issue -- the only principle that should guide us here -- is how Mr. Floyd died at the hands of a policeman, an instrument of the state & what that represented.

I don't want to see this moment in history diluted or corrupted or perverted or disfigured by politics or some 'ism'. 

Would it make a difference if George Floyd was a thief or high on meth? Would that make his murder less important? I don't think so but Ms. Owens' rant seems to be resonating with a large portion of our population if you can believe the count. And that's just unacceptable.

If you are not crystal clear-eyed about WHY what is happening in the streets & if the issue of racism is important to you, I strongly urge you watch Kerry Washington in the Netflix production of "American Son". It's all dialogue; something we desperately need in this country and it illustrates the depth of our problem.  

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

SERIOUSLY, FOLKS......

Seriously, folks:

Can you imagine Mr. Trump sitting through meeting after meeting in the oval office or situation room, listening to all the principals offer their opinions on some issue?

Do you really think he wants to work 12-14 hours a day, 7 days a week except for a few days of golf while under constant scrutiny?

Do you think he's going to read reams of position papers on various issues around the world day after day; even after his 14 hour day in the Oval ends?

How do you think he's going to react when the SS says, sorry Mr. President, it'll take a week to organize your security for your trip to Atlantic City to speak to the Chamber of Commerce about jobs.

Whether you agree with his random thoughts on governing or not -- just as a personality -- do you think this is a guy who is emotionally / constitutionally suited for the constant meetings & discussions as the chief executive of the united States?

What happens the day he gets bored and just wants to have fun? Will Donald be able to be Donald? I don't think he will be able to be true to himself in the Oval Office. It's a gilded cage.

Not being in total control will frustrate him. Although he might enjoy the perceived power, he will not enjoy the job.

Even if Hillary was the only un-trustworthy alternative, one could at least imagine her wonkishness fitting in better.

And there are alternatives.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Relaxing in the second decade of the 21st century


It was a beautiful day & I decided to visit my favorite cheese shop for a Parisienne sandwich (on a baguette) to be accompanied by a bottled French blood orange seltzer drink. 

With lunch in hand, I walked to a small patio area -- under two extremely old and tall white pines -- where there are a few tables with blue umbrellas. No one was else was around.

There was a gentle breeze & the grasses surrounding this little sitting area moved with the wind.

I took out my smart phone (a Samsung S3), clicked an icon, leaned in and said to the phone "listen to BB King". 

"Ding" it replied within seconds and presented me with five choices where I could listen to B.B.King. I selected the Spotify Radio service which immediately began broadcasting a B.B. King tune. 

I propped the smartphone up against my eye glasses which were on the table and listened for a few moments, then un-wrapped my sandwich, set it on a white napkin on the white table. Next I twisted the cap off the blood orange / seltzer drink & set that down next to the rest. 

And I sat for a while just listenting to the blues,  feeling the breeze. 

After a while I started munching on my sandwich, interspersing it with a few sips of red/organge colored drink. 

Half way through lunch, the music faded, an incoming phone call replacing it. It was the service center announcing that my car was ready for pickup. 

"Thanks", I said and ended the call as the sounds of B.B.King returned.

Carol called to say "hi". 

With lunch digested, 2 calls completed and a B.B. King radio concert under my belt, I was ready for the afternoon. 

I did feel the absence of Stella Bella & Sophie, my Bouv girls who are usually with me. This day I had to leave them home & I missed them. 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Listening Heads, an essay > On the art of the television interview


As an admitted news junkie, I watch a lot of news; probably more than I should for my blood pressure & good humor.

And at least three times this week, I watched 'talking heads' answer questions put to them by anchors, only to be asked a follow up question they've just answered.

Not only did I find this annoyingly stupid but it clearly pointed to an age-old problem: we don't listen to each other. It's not good for business, it doesn't foster good friendships or personal relations, it's bad for politics but there's no excuse for it in the television news interview.

Those who have been employed in television know it works in the background:

A producer/associate producer/writer will pre-interview a booked guest before they appear on the set for their live, spontaneous, probing Q & A with the anchor. In this way the interview is focused & the guest is sort of rehearsed.

The member of the production staff assigned to this pre-interview, takes notes, hones the Q & A to fit the time allotted for the segment & then provides those notes -- probably in bullet form -- to the anchor who will read down the list (usually while you can't see them because the camera is focused on the guest who is answering the previous question).

Sometimes one of the bullet points is a follow up question -- which may have already been answered by the guest -- but guess what? The anchor asks the question anyway.

And if you watch carefully, you will see in the eyes of the 'talking head', a glint of anger, frustration and the question: 

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" which, of course, they can't say out loud so they labor to repeat what they just said in a different form, wasting both their time & mine as the viewer.

Like a lawyer who should never ask a question without first knowing the answer, the television pre-interview is a form of TV homework.

And this kind of preparation is also used for entertainment shows. Craig Ferguson (Late Night with Craig Ferguson) makes a point of ripping up his interview notes & cavalierly throwing them away whenever a guest sits down on his sofa & his interviews suffer for it. 

But the best of the entertainment or news anchors and interviewers use the notes as -- exactly that -- but LISTEN to what their guests have to say. Then they may ask a meaningful follow up which can take the interview into an entirely different, un-rehearsed & possibly news-making direction.

Finally, we see the following all too often:

Interviewer: Did you kill Mr.'X'?

Interviewee: Yes, I did.

Interviewer: We've run out of time. Thank you very much for sharing your story. (Turning to audience) Coming up: 'the clown who ate his nose'. Please stay tuned for that! 

Music & dissolve to an animated graphic with a clip showing the clown eat his nose, leaving me to wonder why I should hang around. 

Channel click.

Monday, December 12, 2011

My Marie > Fifty Two Years Later


When I was a very, very young and lucky fellow, I dated a dark haired, ravishing, buxom beauty named Marie (accent over the 'e'). We were inseparable at school, after school, movies, sandwich shops, parties and so forth. It was a very serious affair for a pair of 16 year olds.

Finally I thought I'd better bring Marie home to meet my parents just in case we decided to get married. She was okay with this but understandably nervous.

Marie, a dresser as well as a looker and sex goddess, donned one of her finer outfits: a beautiful but modest blouse with a full skirt maxed out by all the undergarments of the time, did up her hair and makeup in demure fashion, to prepare for this august occasion.

When I saw her, I was both pleased and relieved by her appearance. And so I took Marie home to meet my parents. 

We arrived and the folks met us outside on the front lawns along with our boxers Junior and Cleo (as in 'patra'), Rita, the pet black white goat and the mini-dachshund, Chiquita.

And there stood Marie, hand outstretched, greeting first my father (whom I think she momentarily flirted with as this was her way) and then my mother, the Empress.

It was a very warm day and I was sweating it but everything seemed to be going well as I watched the expression on my parents' face for a sign.

Meanwhile, one of my faithful Boxers (it was Junior) ambled up to Marie, walked between her legs, stuck his head under her crinolines, looked straight up and started panting.

For a moment, Marie tried to be 'cool' and ignore it, thinking it was a momentary aberration which would disappear on it's own. But Junior didn't move and the seconds seemed like hours.

It must of been dark under all those crinolines so I don't know what he was doing but Marie was finally forced to step back and gather herself and her skirts, thus utterly destroying this important teenage moment.

Of course everyone apologized for Junior's bad behavior except me as I couldn't blame him for reading my mind.

Anyway, the following year I was away at boarding school and Marie ended up with a different guy.

Last I heard, which was many years later, she was married with five kids.

I've never seen her again.

December 2011

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Thanks to all my FaceBook friends

OMG. So many of you came out of the woodwork of my life last week to wish me a happy birthday. I was (1) touched & flabbergasted & (2) sick w a bad chest cold, exacerbated by asthma so I didn't enjoy the day much, nor the following 5 days.

But I hijacked some of your wonderful karma & applied it to my  chest & am crediting that with getting me out of bed & out of the house about a week earlier than similar events normally take from my life. 

So I thank all of you for your good wishes AND MY GOOD HEALTH. This is my first day back to eating & breathing somewhat normally. And with everything going on, I forgot that I got a year older.

When we returned from our wonderful time in Costa Rica, we found we needed a new car (Carol), a new clothes washer (Carol), an extensive & expensive veterinary visit (Car...er..Truman) & I got a cold so you can see the balance of power in our household. Truman is fine, BTW.

The euphoria of Costa Rica was balanced out by the realities of Ridgefield life which is not an all together bad thing.

Although our driveway is literally still a sheet of ice, I think Our Zhivago days of icy waterfalls connecting the roof to the terrace are on the wane, the lesser icicles have all but disappeared & the leaks are drying up. The new car & clothes washer are working great. Truman is sleeping on his new fleece bed. Stella needs another haircut & I need to trim my beard. Carol is fabulous.
 
So thanks so much to all of you for taking the few seconds to wish me a happy birthday. It's birthdays & revolutions that make Facebook so outstanding.

Ridgefield
February 16, 2011

Thursday, August 05, 2010

The road to serfdom > A blog entry by an ex-Goldman Sachser

Charlie Chaplin stands on Douglas Fairbanks' s...Image via Wikipedia
[...] If Wall Street investment bankers were dogs, they would flaunt their expensive collars and leashes as marks of status, [...] we were basically the trader’s little bitches, and any quant who’s honest with himself realizes that. In time, we quants developed knee callouses from genuflecting to service the traders, on whose profits our livelihoods depended. 

[...] The sad truth is: quants were the eunuchs at the orgy. We were the ever-present British guy in every Hollywood WWII film: there to add a touch of class and exotic sophistication, but not really matter much to the plot.

[...] Your entire worth as a human is defined by one number: the compensation number your  boss tells you at the end of the year. See, pay on Wall Street works as follows: your base salary is actually quite modest, but your ‘bonus’ is where the real money is. That bonus is completely discretionary, and can vary anywhere from zero to a manifold multiple of your base salary.

So, come mid-December, everyone on the desk lines up outside the partner’s office, like the communion line at Christmas Mass, and awaits their little crumb off the big Wall Street table. An entire year’s worth of blood, sweat, and tears comes down to that one moment. And the entire New York economy marches to the beat of that bonus drum. [...]  Read the rest of this interesting blog @ Adgrok

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Movie Review > Inception starring Leonardo De Caprio

"Inception" starring Leonardo DeCaprio directed by Christopher Nolan (Momento, Dark knight, Insomnia) is what I would call a REAL psychological thriller. Personal analysis helps.

Here we go.

Leonardo de Caprio -- the extractor -- specializes in subconscious security. He spies on, and tries to extract information from his target's psyche. To do it he has to get into the target's sub-conscious where ideas & truths run free. Our most natural experience with the sub-conscious is in dreams so De Caprio has a way to enter these dreams.

This movie naturally centers around a particularly difficult case. To succeed, the plan is two fold. 

First, the inception of an idea, i.e. planting/suggesting an idea to the target, since once implanted, there is no stopping it. Ideas and truths -- as well as fears & doubts -- roam freely in the sub-conscious; thus modern day psychoanalysis. The idea being that the inception of the idea will eventually lead to truth. 

But because of the complexity of this case, the other part of the plan involves, not one or two but three levels of dreams, i.e. the participants in the level one dream, are taken over by folks @ level 2, only to be supplanted by the folks at the 3rd level of the dream. This suggests the complexity of the target's defenses  protecting the truth. So you sit in a darkened movie theatre following Leonardo de Caprio (and others) pursue the idea implanted deep in the target's psyche.

The overall architect of this multi-tiered dream construct is non other than Ellen Page, the quirky star of current Microsoft commercials but most preciously starring in the wonderful "Juno".  I'm not sure why she was cast in this role except maybe it was her ability to provide a flat-line performance, i.e. objective, methodical, mathematical. 

Anyway, back to the plot.

The plot, i.e. the assignment, is to discover the final wishes of a dying tycoon: is he going to leave his company to his son or force him to strike out on his own? A pretty thin motive to be carrying such a heavy movie load but Mr. Nolan tries to bulk it up by having the dying tycoon's only competitor finance the whole caper for business reasons.

The trick here is to make sure that (1) there is enough time to complete the job & (2) that everyone is sufficiently asleep so they don't wake up & interrupt the flow of the various dreams which have to work in sync to succeed. 

Enter an East Asian character who has the right sleeping potion. He also has the music that, when played, awakens everyone from their drugged sleep. The sleep has to be deep enough to repel any doubts caused by outside influences (noise, light, etc.) because any of these would intrude on the dreams & create greater obstacles to retrieving the truth. These disturbed 'dreamscape' scenes are visually interesting.

Confused enough?

The last layer of this plot involves the investigator, himself, who is trying to 'return' home to his kids having left his wife behind in an earlier dreamscape where there was nothing but happy times. He is torn by the guilt of leaving her behind & returning to real life & the love of his kids. Each time any of these feelings enter his psyche, his wife appears & he has to interrupt his mission to deal with her.

At the end of this rather longish movie, everything is resolved. You might be a  little tired of thinking about what you just saw but you cannot deny that you were on a director's trip much as "Apolcalypse Now" was for Francis Ford Coppola. If you enjoy this sort of movie, you will probably enjoy this one, too. I did. 

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named -- BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK. You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Yin & Yang of a weekend trip to Washington, DC

Carol and I traveled to Washington, DC ostensibly to attend a wedding. We had some free time & there were a few sites we both wanted to visit between our social obligations.

On Friday afternoon, in the blazing sun, we walked to the Vietnam Memorial wall. On the way there we ran into a friendly squirrel.
Calling it a wall is sort of a misconception, at least to us. While it is a wall, it is set into the side of a berm, i.e. it was not a free standing wall which we had always imagined it to be. This did not take away from its simple beauty or tragic symbolism. 

As we walked along it in respect of those who were sacrificed, I told Carol that what saddened me most was knowing that 35,000 of those 'names' became eligible for their etching only after the start of peace talks between the United States & the Republic of North Vietnam. 

The two sides first had to first decide on the location for the negotiation, then the shape of the table the negotiators were to sit at & other such important items before getting into the protracted peace talks which where punctuated by extra U.S. bombing runs to make a negotiation point, the suspension of the talks & the return to talks, a dance that went on  for years so everyone could save 'face'.


Saturday morning started with a cholesterol filled breakfast (eggs benedict) & a cooler walk to the National Holocaust Museum. It was crowded, many of the vistors where young. I guess that's a good thing but I couldn't imagine how these kids were going to absorb what they were to read & what they would see.



In the museum lobby, you take an ID card which contains the photo and the story of a person who died in the holocaust. My person was a Polish Jew named Chaim Engel. When the Germans invaded Poland, they sent him to Germany as a slave laborer. In 1940 he was shipped back to Poland but immediately deported to the Sobibor death camp. There a small prisoner revolt took place; Chaim stabbed his overseer (to death) while screaming the name of his father & his mother & others murdered with each thrust of the knife. Chaim escaped into the dense forest where he hid out until the war ended. After living in Europe & Israel, he emigrated to the U.S. in 1957.

At the start, the museum is dark and foreboding. No natural light filters through the steel covered windows.

The tour beings on the forth floor and wends its way down an irregular ramp which takes you through different spaces of exhibits, photos, videos, news reels, clothes, hair, films, objects (large & small) in a time line from the rise of the Nazi Party to the present.

But to give you an inkling of the intensity is to describe traveling to the fourth floor in a crowded industrial-like stainless steel elevator; to me a reflection of the gas chambers that were used to poison groups of un-suspecting prisoners. At some level I felt some relief when the doors opened on the fourth floor.

The story of the Jew's descent into hell begins with Kristallnacht (the night of broken glass) and continues as the race laws were enacted, destroying Jewish life & dignity bit by bit before destroying bodies and minds. Then came the camp experience told by survivors via film & audio recordings. Next the liberation as seen by the troops and here I have to pause for a moment to describe one video that impacted me deeply but I didn't know it until later when it hit me like what I imagine PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) episode must be like. 

When the allies reached Auschwitz & Bergen-Belsen & other camps, the Nazis had not had enough time to destroy all the 'evidence' of their atrocities so the allied soldiers found piles of dead bodes which had not yet been burned along with mountains of shoes & hair, and brushes & spoons. Oh yes, there were the odd skeletal survivors & one can only marvel at the strength of the body to survive such horrors. 

To avoid disease, the allied army was tasked with buring the piled dead bodies in mass graves. This was accomplished using bulldozers so there I stood watching a video of these bulldozers pushing piles of emaciated corpses into a mass grave & covering them with dirt. 

Then came the story of how no one would accept the refugees from these camps who had nothing, some left without their dignity nor a shred of clothing to hide their bodies. Not the United States, no country really, so Jewish organizations set up camps for these people to heal & to get organized before moving on.

We walked through narrow hallways with photos from ceiling to floor on both sides of people who had lived in the shtetls (villages) before the war, the names of these shtetls engraved in glass to be glanced at as we moved along. Then the names of the inhabitants of the shtetls also etched in glass. Some light could now be seen as we approached the end of this tragic journey. 

But just before we reached the first floor, there was a vast bright and almost empty room save some simple stone benches & an eternal flame. There were only a very few people in there. 

It was the remembrance room where people could sit and meditate, to think about what they had just seen & heard, to think about relatives or friends, or friends of friends, or relatives of friends, or period stories read & to consider some of the more recent ethnic cleansing in Europe and Africa. 

It reminded me of the a room in the Jersalem Halacoust Museum -- a room of eternal flames -- a number of them placed on the floor below a low, wooden, viewing balcony, each flame representing a remembrance of the thousands of Jews lost in each country conquered by the Nazi war machine. 

I started to enter the Washington Holocaust remembrance room & felt a sudden need to stop as though a strong hand was in front of me, preventing me from entering. Mind you, this was all in nano seconds. But I turned away overwhelmed by an enormous emotion, a sorrow, so huge that it left me with the greatest urge to burst into tears but I managed to keep myself together. Carol must have seen something on my face & asked if I was all right. I couldn't talk. I could only shake my head. 

Outside we sat on a stone bench, watched children lined up waiting for their tour to begin, and talked about other things: the weather, what we would do next, the back timing necessary to get to the chuch on time. After a few minutes we walked back to the hotel. 

Four thirty in the afternoon found us at the little yellow church near the White House for a lovely wedding ceremony followed by cocktails, dinner, speeches & dancing. 

The date was May 22rd & it wasn't until many hours later that I flashed on my 97 year old father being buried about six weeks before, his coffin in the hole in the ground; everyone throwing shovels full of earth into the hole to cover the coffin which contained his body, emaciated by old age. He would have been 98 on May 23rd.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

For my mother on mother's day

You wonder about my mother. Well, my mother is my hero in life. She was smart, funny, independent (except at the end), creative & terribly honest. She could strike up a conversation with anyone -- and did -- while guarding her privacy -- and she did. She was extremely proper but open minded to new ideas & customs which she never followed. She was a great date & while I was in prep school in PA she used to take me to New York to the theatre, museums, and the like.

Many years later, when I first came to New York to work after college, my mother came to my little apartment to find an empty refrigerator & a dusty floor & insisted that I had to buy food & have a maid. I explained that I never went into grocery stores & that I didn't want anyone cleaning up after me. However I agreed that I would accompany her to the grocery store only to wait outside while she shopped. I did this barefoot. I also agreed to a maid as long as I never met her, never paid her, never had to tell her what to do. This was accomplished, starting one day the very next week while I was at work. This lady bought food, cleaned the apartment, left me notes & I never laid eyes on her. A couple of years went by.

Then Carol & I started dating. One night she stayed over & slept in as I went to work. The next morning as Carol lay drowsily in bed, she heard the door open & a person enter the apartment. Frightened, she wrapped her naked body in a sheet & jumped into the closet where she was discovered by the maid. The next week, I found a note from the maid saying she felt I was now in good hands & didn't need her help any more and she never returned.

As my mother grew old, she became afraid of this and that & my father, ever the doctor & loving husband, took care of her. Slowly but surely over the years my mother fell into decline. Finally she entered the hospital as an emergency patient several times with fluid in her lungs & a weakened heart. The last time she entered the hospital, she suffered an attack of some kind which landed her in ICU where she was strapped down, intubated, fed intravenously, diapered, bathed, handled, rolled over, & examined every few hours.

Nightly we met with her doctor -- my father, my sister & I. My father & sister discussed her medical condition since they are both doctors while I sat across from my mother's physician merely listening. Finally I explained to my mother's doctor that I had a different agenda. I believed he was practicing the best & worst of medicine -- the best because of all the technology & medical advancements, the worst because my mother had no quality of life nor could we ever hope for one. I asked that he make her more comfortable with more drugs so she could rest peacefully. He explained her dosage & I explained that I didn't care -- I wanted it doubled. It was.

Finally my mother died strapped down, intubated, fed intravenously, diapered, bathed, handled, rolled over & examined every few hours. She was sleeping.

The Jewish religion includes a ritual bathing by women from the synagogue who then wrap the body in a shroud to be buried in the simplest of pine boxes. But before that happened my father insisted on seeing her one last time -- something that is not done. And he wanted us all to see her, too.

I entered the storage room where the wooden coffin rested on a table. My father, sister & brother-in-law went left, towards the head of the coffin. I turned right towards the foot of the coffin & as I walked around the pine box, I gently removed the toe tag from her right toe -- just like the movies.

There was my mother, world traveler, great date, funny, smart, independent, creative & terribly honest, lying there in a simple dress, cold & colorless with a toe tag. Thanks to my father, that's the last memory I have of her.

I talked to my mother every day during the several years of her decline. I shared her fright of falling, her frustrations of not being able to write because her hands shook, losing her appetite and her strength, not being able to read (her favorite pastime) & her fear of death. Her own mother had died at age 83. She did, too. I still try to talk to her every day. Some days are harder than others.



Sunday, April 25, 2010

Maybe We'll Leave Ridgefield

Eleven years ago Carol & I moved to Ridgefield CT after seventeen years in beautiful Pound Ridge to live in a quaint New England town. This was going to be our last stop. While Ridgefield remains a wonderful town, it's beginning to remind me of what happened to us in New York City.

Many, many years ago we bought into an historic brownstone on an historic street on NYC's upper west side. It was in the 70's between Central Park West & Columbus Avenue. We had a neighborhood watch. People cleaned up after their dogs (before there was a law). Mr. Tiffany had once owned the brownstone across the street & you could see his study, complete with a back lit Tiffany glass ceiling; it was that kind of neighborhood. And it had a mix of all kinds: from folks who had moved there 30-40 years prior to newcomers, renters as well as owners. The Rolling Stones' Keith Richards was a neighbor. So was a well known heart surgeon.

Columbus Avenue was replete with tiny mom & pop shops: dry cleaning, fruit & veggie stands, cheese & hardware stores & the corner newspaper shop where Morris (who owned it) was the only person who cashed personal checks, knew everyone and had everyone's preferred paper ready for them in the morning. There were old styled soda shops with stools and counters, ordinary coffee and lots of mirrors, chrome & vinyl. Richard Ruskay of Ruskay's served reasonably priced, delicious meals to couples in old fashioned booths.

Then the neighborhood got gentrified. Fancy coffee houses, those kitschy little shops sprung up like so many weeds, Morris had to move out to make way for Putamayo and the rest is history. The sidewalks became so crowded with strangers that stepping into the gutter was sometimes necessary just to get by.

The neighborhood had been devoured and so we moved away, having lost the very quality we had bought into, worked hard to preserve and loved so much.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Did I have my first out-of-body-experience?

I was attending a town meeting relating to this year's budget & taking notes for a possible article later in the week. As I looked up from my Samsung Netbook I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. That may not be the most accurate phrase to use but I don't know what else to call it. (I'm open to suggestions)

Across from me, a woman was scanning the local newspaper & this was the page she was on.

All I could see is what I've highlighted. There was nothing else on the page except my father's obit.  I wondered if she was reading it. Was she merely scanning it  or had she completely ignored it? How could she do that? 

She seemed focused so possibly she was reading the obit and, if so, what would she think?  Was she impressed with his accomplishments?  Did she wonder about him?

I wondered if she going to look in my direction.  Silently: "I hope she doesn't say anything to me." It's so awkward to thank people who offer their  pro forma condolences without an ounce of sincerity or care.  OTOH, I guess they don't have to say anything. This woman did not say anything. And I wondered, if indeed she hadn't read any of the obits on that page ,how whole lives could be so casually & completely ignored.

On Sundays I generally watch all the public affairs shows, i.e. ABC's 'This Week', 'Fox News Sunday', NBC's 'Meet The Press', Fareed Zakaria's 'GPS', CNN's 'State of the Union' & 'The Chris Matthews Show'.

I will only refer to one show for reasons that will become obvious in a moment.

Besides interviewing the current news makers, The ABC show also offers political humor, generally from Comedy Central or the late night shows & an 'In Memoriam' section where they offer mini-biographies of interesting people who have died during the week. Then they list the names of all the service people --  along with their ages & home towns -- who were killed in our two current theaters of war.

No matter what I'm doing, bored, multi-tasking, day dreaming...... when the 'In Memoriam' section begins I focus entirely on the television set, listening intently to every mini-biography while staring at the pictures of these people & I silently read every name, age & hometown of those who have lost their lives in war.

The vast majority of the prior group are older, the latter group younger.  When I see a name followed by a II or a III, I think how sad that the line was ended this way.  Of the older group, I consider how much they have contributed to this world that I live in.

I want to pay my respect to all these people -- in both groups -- as best as I can at the moment, under the circumstances.  I feel better having tried.

Did that woman do that for my father. I'll have to wonder.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The first 25% of Mr. Obama's reign

Like any other activity, there's a learning curve when someone becomes President of the United States of America. And I think we've just experienced the product of Mr. Obama's learning curve during his first year,  basically not much.

While health care reform may be an admirable idea, along with bank regulation, fuel independence, digitizing medical records and cleaning up the environment, it's axiomatic that when you are scratching around to stay alive, or worse yet, losing your job, house and possessions, that you care less about ideas and more about results.

So the mantra "It's the economy, stupid" should probably have been refined to "It's the jobs, stupid".

One would like to think that a president -- especially one who sincerely seems to care about the vast middle class -- would not need to go to school on that. But here we are.

Oh, yes, after Massachusetts, things will definitely change despite Axelrod & Gibb's denials. They have to.

There is so much irony here. If nothing else, one can say that Mr. Obama is a wonderful communicator --  especially with a prompter -- but the fact that he hasn't been able to explain much of his first year is troubling. For the moment, I have to chalk it up to that learning curve. But that won't suffice for the second year.

As a community organizer and as a campaigner, Mr. Obama used a simple and necessary formula: organize from the bottom up.

But governing is different.

In government, you have to organize from the top down. The minions in government await the president's instructions. If those instructions are "Please go figure this out and come back to me with a bill", it doesn't work. A president has to give orders even if it runs against his (her) grain because all bureaucrats & politicians don't think beyond their own little boxes. We saw that with the construction (and destruction) of the health care bill. And it stunk to high heaven.

We deserve better.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Speech Delivered On My Father's 95th Birthday

May 23rd, 2007, San Juan Puerto

We are here this evening to celebrate the longevity of a life, my father's.

Thinking about this evening, what fascinated me was considering the times Nathan has lived through. If I broke it down into years, we'd be here all night so I thought about the broad strokes of the decades.

My father, as most of you have probably figured out, was born in 1912 & that same year the Titanic sunk. OK... let's jump to the 20's.

In the 20's penicillin was discovered & we had both flappers & the depression.

In the 30's Nathan graduated from medical school got married got a little boat, picnicked on the beaches of some romantic islands in the virgins and practiced medicine by horseback with my mother by his side.

Meanwhile wall street had crashed, the great depression was a reality & migrant workers were mostly white Americans.

In the 40's another war ended the depression, Jackie Robinson crossed the color line, Puerto Rico elected it's first governor. I was born & my father became a Neurosurgeon.

In the 50's Rosa Parks sat down, Sir Edmund Hillary climbed up Mt Everest, Castro became a dictator as Puerto Rico's first constitution was approved. The Independistas revolted, another war broke out & Stephanie was born.

In the 60's we landed on the moon, assassinations & demonstrations abounded, all hell broke loose and the internee's predecessor was born.

In the 70's the first Puerto Rican cardinal was ordained & Roberto Clemente was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, an exhausted peace settled across the land, the Watergate pimple popped & I began work on a new television program. The logo for the show was a pair of glasses & it was called 20/20. In the early days of 20/20 the best thing about it was the title.

We all know we have perfect vision in hindsight. It's the future that can be a slightly out of focus. It is my observation that most of us have very little vision in our early years . As we grow into maturity & beyond, our vision improves, sometimes with the help of glasses.

Sometimes that clarity brings on the mid-life crisis. We see things we are doing in a larger context, the things we passed up along the way & we wonder about changing course. I don't think my father ever had a mid-life crisis as he was always busy doing the work that he loved so much.

In the 80's some revolutionary acronyms became part of our vocabularies: AIDS, PC, CNN & WWW. The Titanic was located & Tienanmen Square happened.

The 90's introduced us to the Ebola Virus, Viagra & a Puerto Rican Doctor/Governor.

For the Millennium, a terrorist -- bent on blowing up Seattle's Space Needle -- was stopped at the Canadian border, Nathan turned 88 & the entire world celebrated.

And here we are in 2007 just a few years after the iPod became a common denominator, gathering around for Nathan's 95th birthday. This is his ninth decade, still fruitful, philosophical and opinionated. And I can tell you with great assurance that the despite the problem he is having with one of his eyes, his vision is definitely 20/20.

He's had a long time to reflect on the world around him & his place in it. I think he's proud of his accomplishments and comfortable in his skin. That's the way it should be @ this stage of life.
And being the competitive man that he is, I'm sure there are more decades left in him.

This evening is a wonderful celebration & I'm going to take the liberty of speaking for my sister -- although maybe I should think twice about that now that she's a lawyer -- to say how much we appreciate all of you who are here sharing this moment in my father's history and a very special thank you to the Bixlers who organized it.

This is, indeed, a joyous occasion. My only sorrow is that my mother is not here to enjoy it with us.

So here's to you, Nathan & dad. Happy 95th Birthday.

When Reality Was News

The Ridgefield Press, July 23, 2009

Carol and I shed a few tears this weekend. As we shed our tears, we considered how lucky, inspired and privileged we were to have known and worked with Walter Cronkite.

During those years, news had a special ring to it. It had a deep, classical timbre. It had a plain Midwestern enunciation.

When you worked on the Evening News with Walter Cronkite, you wore it like a badge. It was a matter of pride and envy.

Getting the news out to the public was everything. Getting it right was paramount. And to learn how to do that, there was an extensive apprenticeship. We learned about original sources and confirmations from other sources. We learned about standards and practices. We learned how to spell correctly. We learned syntax and how to tell a story. Money was no object in getting to the truth. We took our responsibilities seriously, very seriously.

And if you were selected to work on the Evening News, it meant you had been anointed with a special grace, accepted into a very small club. You were able to spend every day planning, gathering, ordering, and finally producing a hard news program (never to be referred to as a show) of record.

Around four in the afternoon Walter would emerge from his glass office (just off the newsroom studio) in his shirt sleeves to write, re-write, debate the lead stories, to make the final decisions on how the program would unfold that day. He worked under pressure, ignoring the frantic movements around him: cameras, graphics, lighting, stage hands, makeup; the business of television. The only sound that counted was the clacking of that typewriter that he banged on until the very last minute.  And with seconds to spare he would stand up, don his jacket, sit back down in his anchor chair and intone: "Good evening".

Working on the Cronkite News meant you could go across the street to "The Slate" bar and re-live your particular war story with your colleagues. Working on the Cronkite Evening News meant that every Christmas you would be invited to Walter's home for a party, to eat the usual beef stroganoff and have a chance to discuss world events in his living room. It meant you might witness Walter telling a funny story, doing a sort-of strip tease to the amusement of his wife and all of us. On that night he was one of us. He was a gracious and generous host and we left with our heads in the clouds.

Well, as you all know, Walter Cronkite died over the weekend. His passing was broadcast on all the television stations, frequently reported by people who weren't even born when he was in his prime. We have become accustomed to over-the-top memorials. Recently we've had a quite few of them. But in this case, ladies and gentlemen, it was all true.

Walter Cronkite was a remarkable man and we had a chance to known him. And that's the way it was -- for us.